How Can Children With DYS Disorders Regain Self-Confidence?

Whatever the nature of their difficulty (written language, maths, motor skills…), children with DYS disorders (dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia…) are faced with repeated experiences of failure that gradually erode their self-confidence. Beyond the essential educational adjustments and remediation sessions, it’s important to rebuild that confidence, to set it on a (finally) positive spiral.

Tip 1: be mindful of the impact of the words you use

At school as in everyday life, parents and teachers don’t always realise the impact of the words they use with a child with DYS. To begin with, absolute terms like “never” or “always” should be avoided, so as not to call the child into question as a whole, but only in relation to a specific behaviour. Along the same lines, expressions such as “you’re mean” or “you’re stupid” also leave their mark and undermine the confidence of children with DYS.

The idea is to weave in some “we” in what you say, to show them you’re there to support them through difficult situations. Together, by looking for a solution to the problem, you show that you trust them and that they can improve. In psychology, “having self-confidence means, above all, knowing yourself, believing in your potential and your abilities.”

Tip 2: celebrate successes

Whether dyslexic, dyscalculic, dyspraxic or dysphasic, a child with DYS has a brain that works differently from others. This means putting in sustained effort and developing coping strategies in order to “fit the mould”. It is absolutely essential to celebrate every success, even if it seems ordinary for someone else.

Here again, choosing the right words to praise them matters: “I’m happy you managed that, I’m very proud of you” is the right way to build their confidence. Unfortunately, this is all too often followed by clumsy words, such as “it wasn’t that hard” or “see, when you want to, you can do it”. Unnecessary, these additions cancel out the compliment and imply that the child with DYS did badly the other times…

Tip 3: avoid punishment

For a child with DYS, punishment is a counterproductive approach and harms their self-confidence. It’s better to reward them rather than deprive them of something. In practice, it’s enough to adapt how you phrase things to get the same result, without the harmful effects of a restrictive, belittling approach. For example, “if you do your homework right away, we can play together afterwards or watch TV”, rather than “if you don’t do your homework now, you’ll be banned from TV or games tonight”.

Don’t hesitate to reach out to the the psychologists on the Ora-Visio platform, to support your efforts and strengthen your child’s confidence in themselves. This will help them face their school and/or everyday difficulties.