{"id":346040,"date":"2026-09-01T15:26:57","date_gmt":"2026-09-01T15:26:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/my-child-doesnt-want-to-go-back-to-school-how-to-react-and-help-them\/"},"modified":"2026-10-16T18:25:18","modified_gmt":"2026-10-16T18:25:18","slug":"my-child-doesnt-want-to-go-back-to-school-how-to-react-and-help-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/my-child-doesnt-want-to-go-back-to-school-how-to-react-and-help-them\/","title":{"rendered":"My child doesn&#8217;t want to go back to school: how to react and help them?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As the new school year approaches, some children express their refusal to go back to school. &#8220;<em>I don&#8217;t want to go<\/em>&#8220;, &#8220;<em>My tummy hurts<\/em>&#8220;, &#8220;<em>I want to stay at home<\/em>&#8220;\u2026 These words can be hard for parents to hear, as they sometimes waver between worry, incomprehension and a sense of helplessness.<\/p>\n<p>First and foremost, it is important not to minimise what the child is feeling. Refusing school is often a signal: behind the words or behaviour lies an emotion, a worry or a difficulty that they cannot always put into words.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Listen to your child before trying to convince them<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>The first step is to open a dialogue in a calm atmosphere. Rather than immediately replying &#8220;You have to go, that&#8217;s just how it is&#8221;, it can help to ask simple questions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;What scares you about going back to school?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;At what time of the day do you feel most worried?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;What could help you feel better?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Not all children are able to explain exactly what they feel. Some will talk easily, while others express their distress through tears, anger, tummy aches or sleep problems. The main thing is to show them that <strong>their emotions are heard and taken seriously.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Try to understand what lies behind it <\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>There can be many reasons. We raised them in the article mentioned in the introduction.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>It may be a fear of separation,<\/li>\n<li>school difficulties,<\/li>\n<li>relationship problems with other pupils,<\/li>\n<li>a situation of bullying,<\/li>\n<li>a worry related to a teacher<\/li>\n<li>or a major change in the child&#8217;s life.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Sometimes, going back to school after the holidays or a long absence can also be difficult, simply because the child has to get back into a rhythm, rules and habits.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Avoid trivialising or dramatising<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>What may seem trivial to an adult can be experienced as a real source of anxiety by a child. It is therefore better to avoid jumping to conclusions.<\/p>\n<p>Phrases such as &#8220;It&#8217;s nothing&#8221;, &#8220;You&#8217;re exaggerating&#8221; or &#8220;Everyone goes to school&#8221; can give the child the impression that their emotions are not understood.<\/p>\n<p>You could, for example, say: &#8220;I can see that going back to school is hard for you at the moment. We&#8217;re going to try to understand together what&#8217;s wrong and find a way to help you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Gradually re-establish reassuring landmarks<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ol>\n<li>Children often need to get back to a predictable framework, a routine:<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<ul>\n<li>Gradually return to regular sleep times<\/li>\n<li>Talk about how the day will be organised,<\/li>\n<li>Imagining the journey to school together can help reduce anxiety.<\/li>\n<li>Prepare their things with them the night before: school supplies in the school bag, clothes)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Example<\/strong>: <em>to help them visualise how the day is organised (especially the youngest ones), there are routine charts that you can find in shops or print from the Internet. You can also make one with them. (feel free to search for: children&#8217;s routine chart) <\/em><\/p>\n<ol start=\"2\">\n<li>It can also be helpful to remind the child of the positive aspects of their school life:<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<ul>\n<li>seeing a friend again,<\/li>\n<li>taking part in an activity they enjoy<\/li>\n<li>or sharing a good memory of school.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>This is not about denying their difficulties, but about helping them reconnect with reassuring things.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Reassure without promising the impossible<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>The child needs to feel that their parents are by their side. This does not necessarily mean removing every difficulty or promising them that everything will always be easy.<\/p>\n<p>One of the most reassuring messages can be: &#8220;I know it&#8217;s hard for you, but you&#8217;re not alone. We&#8217;re going to work out together how to help you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Examples:<\/p>\n<p><em><u>If the child has trouble falling asleep<\/u><\/em><em>, you can put a drop of <strong>true lavender essential oil<\/strong> on a tissue slipped under their pillow. The soothing properties of lavender will help them calm down and therefore fall asleep.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><u>If the child has trouble falling asleep,<\/u><\/em><em> you can also suggest a breathing exercise or a meditation such as the ones you will find on the <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/adherent.dys-positif.fr\/espace-adherent\"><em>Dys-positif<\/em><\/a><em> website (in French)<\/em><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-344154 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/meditations-dys.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"667\" height=\"283\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/meditations-dys-200x85.png 200w, https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/meditations-dys-300x127.png 300w, https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/meditations-dys-400x170.png 400w, https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/meditations-dys-600x255.png 600w, https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/meditations-dys-768x326.png 768w, https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/meditations-dys-800x340.png 800w, https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/meditations-dys-940x400.png 940w, https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/meditations-dys-1024x435.png 1024w, https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/meditations-dys.png 1053w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 667px) 100vw, 667px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><em>If the anxiety is more related to separation or fear of change, some little rituals can also be reassuring. For example, draw a heart in the palm of your child&#8217;s hand or on their wrist and place a kiss on it:<\/em><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-344155 alignnone\" src=\"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/coeur-main.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"135\" height=\"163\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/coeur-main-200x242.png 200w, https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/coeur-main-248x300.png 248w, https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/coeur-main-400x483.png 400w, https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/coeur-main.png 495w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 135px) 100vw, 135px\" \/> <em>&#8220;When you look at this heart, you&#8217;ll know that I&#8217;m thinking of you and that you&#8217;re not alone.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Another idea is to ask your child to choose a small object they can keep in their pocket, bag or pencil case and that reminds them of a happy memory. This little &#8220;treasure&#8221; can help them reconnect with a reassuring moment during the day.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Supporting a child who is stressed about going back to school sometimes takes time, patience and help from other adults. The main thing is to keep listening, to try to understand the causes of their distress and to show them that they can be heard and supported.<\/p>\n<p>At <a href=\"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/\">Ora-visio <\/a>professionals who support children and parents can also advise you if you do not know what to do or feel helpless. If your child has a Neurodevelopmental Disorder, they can guide you and give you other tips for a calmer return to school.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>To find out more: <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/adherent.dys-positif.fr\/espace-adherent\/PRIMAIRE-primaire-fiches-et-exercices-pour-les-eleves-dys\">Meditation<\/a> exercises on the website of our partner <a href=\"https:\/\/www.dys-positif.fr\/en-quoi-lassociation-dys-positif-peut-elle-vous-aider\/\">Dys-positif<\/a> (in French)<\/p>\n<p>When refusal becomes an anxiety disorder, another article on our blog: <a href=\"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/school-phobia-causes-symptoms-and-solutions-to-help-a-child-who-refuses-to-go-to-school\/\">School phobia: causes, symptoms and solutions to help a child who refuses to go to school.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Here is a <a href=\"https:\/\/dessinemoiunehistoire.net\/albums-rentree-des-classes\/\">selection of must-read children&#8217;s books<\/a> for going back to school, on the <em><u>Dessine moi une histoire<\/u><\/em> website (in French)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As the new school year approaches, some children express their  [&#8230;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":346043,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[417,335,327],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-346040","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dys-disorders","category-parental-guidance","category-sophrology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346040","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=346040"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346040\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":346251,"href":"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346040\/revisions\/346251"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/346043"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=346040"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=346040"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ora-visio.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=346040"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}